Journey With Me
by TheeAnonymousFangirl
Summary: Jen and Judy have spent the last year trying to overcome the struggles they have been through. Judy suggests a weekend vacation and Jen drunkenly agrees. There is a lot in their relationship they still need to unpack, including feelings for each other. Will the trip allow them to open up?
1. Chapter 1

It had been a long few weeks. No, it had been a long year. Between the boys, work, and settling the incident with Steve, Jen and Judy hadn't had much time to relax outside of an hour every other night where they drank by the pool. The last time they really had time to themselves was over a year ago when they went to the grief retreat, which Jen would not count as a complete vacation.

Tonight was one of those nights that they could take a brief moment out of their crazy lives to drink and talk, relishing in each other's support and understanding.

Jen took a seat on the outdoor couch, throwing her feet on the coffee table and sighing deeply.

"God I'm so fucking tired. I could use a break that lasts longer than sixty minutes. I could also use a lot more wine."

Judy threw a blanket over Jen, refilled her glass, and plopped down at the other end of the couch, pulling her legs under her and taking some of the blanket for herself.

Jen lazily turned her head to smile and wink at Judy, a silent 'thank you' for the wine and warmth.

Judy brought her own glass to her lips, trying to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck and threatening to show Jen just how much of an effect she had on her.

These were Judy's favorite times. The moments when she and Jen were so vulnerable with each other. The brunette couldn't help but stare at the other woman. Bare faced with rosy cheeks from the wine, she was beautiful and it made Judy say something she had only meant to think.

"So let's take a trip."

Jen was too tired and drunk to argue with the brunette, so she smirked and entertained the idea.

"And where do you suppose we head off to?"

Judy shrugged, "I dunno, somewhere we could go for just a weekend getaway."

Jen sat even further back and closed her eyes, nursing her wine. "Mmmm, Santa Barbara," she responded.

"Then let's go," Judy excitedly responded.

Jen leaned her head back and chuckled, probably too loud from all of the alcohol in her system. "Sure Judy, the boys locked in the car for a few hours and then all four of us, what, sharing a tiny hotel room together?"

Judy set her wine glass down and inched forward on the couch. She looked down at her hands, nervous to say what she wanted to. She squeezed her eyes shut and spit it out.

"No, just you and me."

Jen's head shot up quickly and her eyes narrowed at Judy. The brunette peaked up at the other woman through her bangs to watch her reaction.

"We can barely get more than a few hours without one of the kids needing us for something. When the fuck do you think we're going to get a whole weekend to take a trip without them?"

Judy was shocked that this was the way the conversation was going. She was fully prepared for Jen to shoot down the idea and move on, or worse, be completely freaked out at the idea of the two of them spending a weekend together just themselves. Sure they went to the grief retreat together, but really, they went with their grief group and they didn't even spend much time together. That was different than what Judy was suggesting now. Apparently though, the thought of them together didn't bother Jen at all. Judy was afraid to push this idea too far, but she wanted to see how Jen truly felt about it so she cocked her head to the side and gave Jen a sly smile. "This weekend," she said.

Before Jen could shoot out a smart remark, Judy continued, getting more excited with every word.

"Think about it, Lorna has been dying to see the boys more, this is the perfect way! It's Thursday night, Lorna can pick them up tomorrow from school and we can head out late in the morning and come back on Sunday!"

Jen's head was spinning both from the wine and from Judy's sudden overabundance of enthusiasm. And while the idea was completely absurd, there was a piece of Jen that loved the idea of spending the weekend in beautiful Santa Barbara with Judy, just the two of them.

Jen had always been the type of person who couldn't stand being around people for too long. She always got irritated and wanted to stab someone in the fucking eye. But then Judy came into her life and everything changed. The person who thought being around people was a chore, couldn't get enough of the other woman. Judy's presence made Jen feel more comfortable in life. After a long and stressful day, she knew she could always go home to Judy's beautiful smile, and wine of course.

She's not quite sure when she started to fall for the other woman but Jen's hard exterior was getting a run for its money with her soft feelings for Judy.

Maybe the trip wasn't such a bad idea.

Judy continued to watch Jen's reaction and the blonde couldn't help but smile at how hopeful the brunette looked.

Jen rubbed a hand over her face trying to figure out what to say. She obviously couldn't go. Right? She couldn't leave the boys or work on such short notice. But looking at Judy with her brown puppy dog eyes and cute smile, it was hard to say no. Plus, the two of them had been through so much together, they could really use a chance to just forget everything, even if just for a weekend.

"Alright, let's do it."

Judy's face lit up in a way Jen had never seen and she made a silent promise to herself that she would do everything she could to keep that look on the brunette's face. "Really?" Judy squeaked out both from shock and excitement.

The childish excitement that lit up Judy's features made Jen's heart melt and in that moment, she knew for sure that spending the weekend alone with the other woman was exactly what she needed.

"I mean I have to call the witch to make sure she can take the boys for the weekend, but yeah, I think a relaxing getaway is exactly what we both need."

Judy stood, letting the blanket fall from her legs and drape onto the ground. Downing the rest of her wine, she extended her hand to Jen.

"Well then, should we get to packing."

The blonde laughed and shook her head, grabbing onto the fingers in front of her. "You're something else, Judy Hale. You certainly make my life more exciting."

The two drunkenly parted ways as they made for their respective living quarters. Before she could go into the house, Jen paused in the doorway and turned around to look at the other woman. Watching her companion's staggered steps, she snorted to herself before calling after her.

"Thank you, by the way."

Judy turned around with a confused expression on her face, which frankly only made Jen's heart grow in her chest.

"For what?"

Jen shrugged, suddenly embarrassed. "For being there for me. For always knowing what I need."

"I'll always be here for you, Jen."

"Back at you."

They shared a caring smile and Judy wanted nothing more than to walk up to the older woman, grab her face, and kiss her deeply. But instead she bit her lip and broke the intense eye contact before she did something she might regret.

"Good night, Jen."

Jen slightly cocked her head to the side, almost realizing that Judy was trying to a refrain from something and a ghost of a smile graced her lips. Jen didn't respond so Judy stole a glance her way.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Judy's brown eyes were wide with wonder. Jen shook herself out of her trance and turned to go inside, calling over her shoulder, "Good night, Jude."

Judy watched the blonde close the door to the house before turning towards her own space, smiling to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Jen woke up just a few hours after parting from Judy with a smile on her face, something she had never done until her friend came into her life. She still didn't sleep much, but the few hours a night she did sleep were some of the best of her life. Just knowing that the brunette was only across the backyard made sleeping so much easier. It was comforting to know that if either of them needed each other, they were there.

The familiar clanking rang through the house and Jen's smile grew wider. The first time Judy snuck into the house to cook breakfast was weird. Jen wasn't used to other people doing things around the house. Even when Ted was alive he didn't help out. Jen was always the one to cook breakfast, make the boys' lunches, and cook dinner when she got home from work. When she saw Judy in the kitchen that first time, she broke down crying. Jen can remember the way Judy stopped and came to wrap her in a hug, apologising profusely because she thought she had done something wrong. Jen had explained that she had never had help and was grateful to Judy for being apart of her life. Since then it had become a ritual. Every morning Judy made breakfast and nobody questioned it.

Jen kicked something at the foot of her bed and sat up to see what it was. Her eyes fell upon an open suitcase half full and clothes splayed all around it.

"Oh shit," she whispered to herself.

Her mind wandered back to the night before where she vaguely remembered drunkenly agreeing to a weekend vacation with Judy, just the two of them.

"Fuck." Jen knew she was going to have to walk downstairs and face Judy. They couldn't leave for the weekend, not on such short notice. Maybe the brunette wouldn't remember, they were both pretty drunk last night.

Jen sighed and slowly made her way out of bed, throwing on her robe and wrapping it securely around her. She walked down the hall and briefly checked on the boys before heading downstairs. They would be up soon and Jen wanted to talk to Judy before they woke.

She stopped for a moment in the kitchen entrance and watched Judy. The brunette moved without a care, or like she had been doing this her whole life. She looked like she belonged. Judy had fit into her house right away and while it scared Jen a little bit at first because she had always had a hard time making friends and being close to people, especially women, she secretly loved the fact the Judy was always around.

Judy could feel a presence in the room and when she turned around, she saw blue eye staring back at her. No, not staring, admiring.

"Good morning," Judy choked out, her throat suddenly dry.

Jen quickly responded with a "Morning" of her own before making her way to the freshly made cup of coffee calling to her from the machine. She was avoiding Judy's gaze and she knew Judy could tell.

Judy came up behind her and placed a reassuring hand on the small of her back. "Is everything alright?"

Jen braced herself against the counter and closed her eyes, relishing in the feel of Judy's hand on her back. The constant touching of each other was both holding Jen together and killing her at the same time. She was never good at physical contact with another human, besides her boys, but for some reason she felt empty unless she and Judy were touching in some way. Just a gentle hand on her arm or quick touch on the shoulder relaxed her almost immediately. But on the other hand, as her feelings for the other woman grew stronger, the touches were burning.

When the blonde didn't respond, Judy leaned her back against the counter, moving her hand to squeeze Jen's arm, willing the blonde to look at her.

"Hey," Judy softly whispered.

Jen finally turned her head in the direction of her friend. "There she is," Judy said softly with a little smile on her lips. Jen tentatively returned the smile and gave a little sigh.

"What's going on?" Judy continued to talk to Jen in a tone that made her seem wounded. In a way it made Jen angry, but what the fuck, she was wounded, right? She couldn't accept a nice weekend with her best friend without her mind fucking with her.

Judy could see the emotions flashing in Jen's eyes and waited patiently for the blonde to respond.

"I came down here to tell you I can't go away with you this weekend."

Judy visibly deflated, her mouth turned down into a frown. Jen hated this, she hated making Judy feel sad. "But I think you should still go." Judy looked questioningly as Jen, waiting for her to follow up that statement. "You deserve some time to yourself, you've been through a lot too and just because I can't go doesn't mean you shouldn't."

Judy actually became angry at what Jen was saying. What did she not understand? The weekend was supposed to be about them. Judy didn't want to go by herself, she wanted to go with Jen.

Judy suddenly had a burst of confidence, maybe it was the anger she felt or maybe it was the love, but she grabbed Jen's shoulders and turned her so they were now facing each other. "I'm not going without you, Jen."

They were so close, if either one of them were to just lean in a little bit their lips would touch. Jen closed her eyes and counted to three to clear her mind. When she opened them, those gorgeous puppy dog eyes were lovingly staring back at her.

Judy slid her fingers down the length of Jen's arms to hold the other woman's hands and lowered her voice, not even realizing it had raised a bit, repeating "I am not going without you."

"Judy, I-"

"It's ok. We don't have to go. But if you're talking yourself out of it because you think you're being selfish and don't deserve it, please know that there is no one who deserves this more than you."

"You do," Jen breathed out.

"So be spontaneous with me, like the night we went to the beach and smoked weed. Let's live a little, Jen! I think we've both forgotten how. It's been a year since everything came out. I think it's time we allow ourselves to move on."

Jen knew that Judy was right and maybe that's what scared her about the trip. Maybe she subconsciously knew that they would have to finally face all that had happened. But maybe it would finally allow them to be fully committed to one another, whether that meant just being friends or something more.

"Oh fuck it. You're right."

"So we're going then?"

"Yes, but I still need to call the devil and make sure she is available to take the boys."

"And I'll take care of the hotel situation," Judy giddily responded.

Jen looked down and realized Judy was still holding her hands. "Um Judy, I kind of need my hands back"

"Oh shit, right, sorry."

Judy pulled her hands away awkwardly and Jen gasped slightly at the sudden loss of contact. She inwardly scolded herself for letting Judy get under her skin so easily. Jen had prided herself in not needing anyone, but somehow Judy wormed her way in and grabbed a strong hold of Jen's pride and wasn't letting go.

"I better go get dressed."

Judy nodded and watched as Jen retreated back up the stairs in a sort of fast walking motion. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and closed her eyes briefly. "What the fuck am I getting myself into," she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Back upstairs Jen entered her room and shut the door behind her in fear of one of the other bodies in the house seeing her have a panic attack.

She paced back and forth before falling onto her bed and groaning into the sheets. Laying facedown, nearly suffocating herself, she wondered why she was getting so worked up about this. It's not like she and Judy hadn't been alone before. Of course the other times were just a few hours here or there, not a whole weekend. Well, besides the Grief Retreat, which again, Jen did not count as real time spent together. Besides, the last time they spent a substantial amount of time together, just them, Jen didn't know about Judy killing Ted, Steve was still alive, and she wasn't in love with Judy, at least not fully in love.

Jen could admit that she was scared to talk about the incidents with the men, but if she were being honest, she was mostly afraid of possibly admitting her feelings about Judy.

She finally removed herself from her bed and started to get dressed just as she heard the alarms going off down the hall, signaling the boys' awakening.

Jen could hear the boys slowly making their way downstairs and greet Judy. These early mornings were some of Jen's favorite times. She loved watching, or in this case listening, to the interactions between her boys and Judy. It made her heart swell to know how well the three of them got along.

She held it off long enough, but Jen knew at this point it was time to call Lorna and ask her to take the boys for the weekend.

Jen picked up her phone from her bedside table and hovered over Lorna's name before huffing and finally pressing 'call.' It rang four times, making Jen think the woman wasn't going to answer, but Jen wouldn't get off that easy.

"Jennifer, what a surprise to hear from you."

"Oh Jesus," Jen thought. "Here we fuckin go."

Downstairs Judy was starting to get a little bit concerned. Jen didn't usually take this long to come down, especially since she was only supposed to be getting dressed. She glanced at the two boys sitting in front of her, stuffing their faces with waffle. "I'll be back in a minute," she said, but neither of the boys showed any interest.

As Judy neared Jen's door she could hear her on the phone. She debated turning around and going back downstairs, but then heard Jen's angry voice starting to come out and she figured it must have been Lorna on the other end. Judy tapped on Jen's door before sticking her head in. Jen was perched on the edge of her bed, holding her phone to her ear with an aggravated look on her face.

"...Oh you mean you're going to allow me to actually see my grandsons," Lorna said with a bit of attitude through the phone.

The blonde groaned and felt the bed shift as Judy sat down next to her. Jen turned to Judy and stuck the phone out. "Perfect timing! Please take this before I hang up on the fucking twat."

Judy did as she was asked and put on the sweetest tone she could manage. She didn't hate people, that wasn't who she was, but even she could admit that Lorna was a piece of work.

"Hi Lorna," a pause, "yes, we're planning on leaving right after we drop the boys off at school and we'll be back Sunday evening."

Jen could hear Lorna's annoying voice on the other end, but couldn't quite make out what she was saying. No doubt it was something like how Jen is a shitty mother. Jen put her hands to her throat and made as if she were choking. Judy silently chuckled and rolled her eyes. "No Lorna, there's no need for them to stay Sunday night too. We'll definitely be back early enough to pick them up."

"Jesus christ," Jen muttered under her breath at the fact that Lorna was attempting to keep her boys longer than necessary. Judy placed her hand delicately on Jen's thigh, attempting to tame the wild animal that threatened to make its appearance.

Jen studied Judy's features and wondered how she got so lucky to have this life partner, this person who handled her shit and loved her unconditionally, who knew how to keep her calm. She knew the circumstances in which they found each other were fucked up, but she couldn't picture a life without Judy, a life without happiness.

"...Could you just bring them back to our house after school to get their things. Charlie already has a key."

Our house. Jen loved hearing those words come out of Judy's mouth. As hard as it was for Jen to admit it for a while after she learned the truth about Ted's death, the fact of the matter was, it was harder to deny it. This was their house. Jen and Judy's home. Pictures of their family of four were scattered around the rooms, on walls and tabletops. Judy's collection of coffee mugs had intertwined itself with Jen's. Some of Judy's paintings hung on walls and an easel was set up in the guestroom. There was more of Judy in this house than there ever was in Steve's.

Judy was nearing the end of the conversation with Lorna and Jen had to pry her eyes away from her best friend, pretending that the way she was just looking at her was completely normal "friend" behavior.

"Thank you, Lorna. Call us if there are any issues."

Judy hung up the phone and handed it back to Jen. "We're all set. Lorna's going to pick them up from school and bring them back to get some things and we'll pick them up when we get back into town on Sunday."

"Thank you for dealing with her."

Judy shrugged and smiled, "Anytime."

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Jen broke the contact.

"Should we go back downstairs and tell the boys?"

Judy nodded and stood up, heading for the door.

"You might want to finish getting dressed before you come down," Judy called before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

It was in that moment that Jen realized her shirt was completely unbuttoned and her bra was on full display. She felt her face get hot as she looked at the spot Judy had just vacated. She quickly pulled herself together and made her way downstairs before she could overanalyze anything.

When Jen finally made it back to the kitchen Judy was standing at the island with the boys sitting across from her.

Henry noticed his mom first and ran to give her a hug, "Good morning mom!"

Jen crouched just in time to absorb some of the blow of her son crashing into her.

"Good morning boop! Did you sleep well?"

The littlest Harding nodded against her stomach before leaving her as quickly as he came to return to his half eaten breakfast.

Judy looked up towards Jen, holding her phone to her ear.

"Are you alright, Jen? You look a little red."

Jen's mouth slightly fell open before she quickly composed herself and cleared her throat, putting her hardass attitude back on.

"I'm fine. Who are you talking to?"

"I'm on hold with a hotel."

Jen nodded and came up behind Charlie to kiss his head, which he tried to duck away from, so Jen gave him a little shove too, just for good measure.

"So listen boys, Judy and I are going to go away for the weekend. Your grandmother will pick you up from school today and bring you back here to pack some things and then you'll stay with her until we pick you up on Sunday."

"Why don't we ever get to do anything fun," Henry asked innocently with a slight pout.

Jen and Judy locked eyes from across the counter, sharing a silent conversation.

"Well maybe after this trip, we can all do something fun together, how does that sound?"

Henry looked at his mother and smiled.

"That sounds great! Like a family trip!"

Judy's heart clenched in her chest, the three people in front of her were her family, regardless of the messed up things that brought them together and she was so thankful for them.

A voice on the other end of her phone brought her out of her emotional haze.

"Miss are you still there?"

"Yes I am still here."

Judy listened on as the man spoke on the other end, rattling off details about their stay.

"Is that alright miss?"

"Um…" Judy looked across the counter to Jen who was chatting with her boys. "Yes, that's fine."

Judy fished her credit card from her backpocket in order to lock in the room. Jen quickly appeared at her side with her own card that she tried to shove in Judy's hand, but the brunette just batted it away.

"Judy, take the fucking card."

"No Jen, it was my suggestion, let me do this for you."

The determination and love in Judy's eyes made Jen retract her card and instead mouth "thank you" to the woman in front of her.

One of the boys hit his silverware on his plate and it made Jen jump, realizing the intense stare she was just sharing with Judy.

"Right, well we better get a move on then. Boys, upstairs and finish getting ready for school, we're leaving in 30!"

She looked at Judy again, who appeared to have not taken her eyes off of Jen, "you and I better finish getting ready too," the brunette said, "I've heard we're leaving in 30." She smiled her signature Judy smile and headed for the door, leaving Jen alone in the kitchen, smiling like a lovestruck teenager.


	4. Chapter 4

Jen pushed three distracted and rowdy people out the door to the garage 40 minutes later, two of which were carrying oversized backpacks and the other one was struggling to pull her suitcase through the door.

Jen rolled her eyes and blew her hair out of her face. They were running late and it stressed her out. They would have left on time, maybe even early, except Judy had to keep going back and get things from the guest house and the boys wouldn't stop arguing over some stupid shit.

Judy opened the hatch to the back and threw her suitcase in, pulling Jen's from her grasp and setting it alongside her own. The blonde climbed into the driver's seat and waited patiently for the brunette to slide in next to her. Judy bounded into the passenger's side, latched her seatbelt, and turned her head to smile at Jen like a puppy going to the dog park. Jen returned the smile before throwing the car in reverse and turning it onto the street and in the direction of the boys' school.

Noticing the way Jen was gripping the steering wheel with both hands, Judy tentatively placed her hand on Jen's thigh. She watched as the blonde set her jaw, not doubt trying to hold back some sort of emotion. Jen glanced at Judy from the corner of her eye before peeling her right hand from the steering wheel and finding Judy's left, intertwining their fingers. Judy gave a gentle squeeze, letting the other woman know that everything would be alright. Jen pulled her hand away too quickly and moved it back to the death grip on the steering wheel. Judy pretended not to be disappointed as she looked out the window and closed her eyes, attempting to control her feelings.

They drove that way for the next 15 minutes, the four of them lost in their own thoughts, until the car stopped in front of the school.

Jen turned around and looked at both boys, letting them know that she loved them and made sure they knew to call if there were any problems.

The boys started to walk towards the entrance of the school when Jen rolled down Judy's window and called after the oldest boy, "Char!"

Charlie stopped and backtracked the few feet to the car. "Watch your brother for me. Don't let Lorna try to brainwash him with some weird shit ok? We get enough of that at home with Judy's voodoo rituals."

"Hey!" Judy squeaked at the insult towards her "hippy time" as Jen would call it.

"I'm teasing," Jen said, nudging Judy playfully. "But seriously Charlie, watch your brother please."

"Will do, Mom. Can I go now?"

"Sure, get out of here. Go learn some shit."

Charlie saluted and turned on his heel, "Love you guys," he called casually.

Judy inhaled sharply and let her head fall against the seat. Charlie had never told Judy that he loved her. She already knew it from the way that he would ask for her advice and sit in her paintroom playing video games while she attacked her canvas with her paintbrush. And of course Henry had already said it, many times in fact. But Charlie was less comfortable with his feelings and didn't outright say them. Judy could feel tears in her eyes and squeezed them shut. Next to her she could hear Jen trying to control her breathing. This was big, the fact that Charlie expressed his love for Judy. It meant that she was accepted into their family, really accepted. Charlie told Judy he loved her faster than Jen did.

Judy cracked open her eyes and snuck a peak at Jen, who was staring back at her. The corners of the blonde's lips turned upward. They both knew what this moment meant.

"Ready?" Jen asked.

Judy nodded and swiped her thumb under her eyes, catching the few teardrops that managed to slip out.

Silence spread over the car as Jen drove through town and merged onto the 405, heading in the direction of Santa Barbara.

"He really does, you know." Judy had been staring out the window watching the trees fly by when Jen said it. She turned her head to look at Jen who was focused on the road.

"Charlie, h-he does love you." Jen swallowed the lump in her throat before she continued, feeling brown eyes on her skin. "He doesn't open up well to other people, even me. The only person he really shared anything with was...Ted." Tension pushed its way between the two of them at the mention of Ted, but after a beat, Jen kept going. "Anyway, he really cares about and respects you. I haven't seen him this way with anyone else."

"I have a feeling he isn't the only one."

Jen opened her mouth as if to say something but closed it again. The road rumbled beneath them and the scenery flew past as they drove down the highway.

Judy knew that Jen wasn't going to say anything but so much of her still wished and hoped that she would. Jen could talk about a lot of things with Judy, but the one thing she refused to talk about was their relationship, especially after Jen found out about Ted. Everything was complicated, which was a big reason why Judy suggested this trip. She wanted the chance to put everything in the past and move on, she hoped this was the way to do that.

Flashbacks of the past year, specifically the four months after Jen found out the truth and Steve was killed, danced in Judy's mind. She tried not to think about them too often because it hurt. There were a lot of things said between the two women during that period and a lot of getting used to each other again. Judy knew that Jen still held a piece of resentment towards her, even though she tried to say she didn't. There were times when Judy would catch Jen just staring off, jaw clenched, but then there were other times when she'd sneak out to the guesthouse and sit all night with Judy, just talking.

And then there was the touching. Jen used to lean in to Judy's touches like it was no problem, no second thought. But since everything, every time Judy touched her it was like Jen was fighting with herself not to enjoy it, but ended up relaxing into her anyway. Judy hated that she brought this tension into their relationship, but a sick part of her also knew that she never would have had Jen if it weren't for what she did, these were the things that kept her up at night.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey," Jen pulled her hand off the steering wheel and lightly brushed her fingers on Judy's forearm, before pulling it back.

They'd been driving for close to an hour and that was the first word Jen had spoken since they first began their journey.

"Hm?" Judy hummed in response.

Jen pulled her eyebrows together and quickly glanced at her passenger. "You ok? You've been pretty quiet."

Judy put on her best smile and straightened up a little bit.

"I'm fine."

"Jude, I thought we agreed we weren't going to lie to each other anymore."

Judy cringed slightly, blew out a breath, and focused her gaze straight ahead.

"Staying silent doesn't count as not lying," Jen teased.

Judy couldn't help but let a small smile fall on her lips.

"Judy Ann, are you in there?" Jen lightly tapped Judy's head and a giggle escaped the brunette.

Judy reached up and tried to bat Jen's hand away, but instead, the blonde grabbed Judy's fingers and tangled them with her own.

"Look, you were right. Charlie, he's not," she let out a deep sigh, "He's not the only one who has changed since you came back around. I know I don't say it often enough, but uh, thank you, and all that shit."

"Thank you, Jen, for making me feel at home."

Judy was surprised that Jen commented on what she had said earlier. Maybe she was starting to come around and realize that she couldn't run from her feelings, at least not forever. Judy looked down at their intertwined hands and back up to Jen, who looked slightly uncomfortable, but also content.

"Jen…"

"Yeah?"

"I hate to break this nice moment, but uh, I have to pee."

Jen rolled her head to the side and narrowed her eyes at Judy who was looking back at her with a smile and raised eyebrows.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jen groaned. "We've only been driving for about an hour!"

"I know, I'm sorry, I had a lot of coffee this morning."

Jen groaned again and looked around at where they were. She tried to find a sign that said where there would be a stop next, but didn't see anything coming up.

"Looks like you're going to have to hold it."

"Noooo," Judy whined and bounced a little in her seat. "I don't think I can."

"Judy, look around, where the fuck do you think you're going to go?"

The women were silent for a moment, before Jen spoke again.

"Well..." Jen smirked at what she was about to suggest. "I could pull over and you could go on the side of the highway."

"Jen! No! I can't just go on the side of the highway!"

"Oh come on a freespirit like you!"

Judy bit her lip, thinking for a moment. "No, I can't."

Jen shrugged, "Suit yourself, but we still have an hour and a half." Jen picked up the clear water bottle from the cupholder next to her and shook it in front of Judy. "And look at all this water."

"Jen stop!"

Jen laughed and placed the bottle back where she got it. Not even a minute later Judy turned to Jen, "Ok, pull over."

Jen raised her eyebrows and glanced at Judy, "Seriously?"

Judy nodded, "Yes, please!"

Seconds later, gravel crunched under the tires as the car rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the highway.

Jen put the car in park and reached over Judy to open the passenger door.

"Well, off you go then."

Judy unbuckled her seatbelt and glared at Jen. "I'm unhappy right now."

"Be unhappy with the coffee, baby."

Stepping outside, Judy turned back around to a smirking Jen.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"I mean it's pretty funny."

Judy looked around and tried to find the right place to do this. Luckily, Jen had pulled off next to a few bushes that would cover her from the sides, and the car would cover her from the front, so no one from the highway would be able to see her.

"Pop a squat or get back in the car!"

Judy threw a glare over her shoulder and walked closer to the bushes.

"Just be glad you're wearing a dress and not pants!"

A blush was beginning to creep its way up Judy's neck and into her cheeks.

"Will you look the other way please!"

Jen smirked and turned her head so she was staring straight out the windshield, but could still see Judy from the corner of her eye.

Judy could feel Jen still eyeing her. Deciding that she wasn't going to get the privacy she wanted, she thought she'd give Jen a little something to really watch.

Judy took a deep breath and snaked her hands under the skirt of her dress. She lifted it up just to her mid thighs, enough to feed Jen, but not give her everything. She hooked her thumbs in her panties and slowly pulled them down, bending slightly at the waist.

Jen watched the scene unfold just steps from the car and her breath hitched in her throat. Hot pink lace panties came into view as Judy pulled them farther down her legs. Jen knew she shouldn't be staring at her best friend like this, but she couldn't make herself stop. She only finally looked away when Judy squatted behind a bush. Jen needed to do something, she was becoming uncomfortable...but also slightly turned on.

She reached over and rummaged through her glovebox, pulling out a handful of napkins. She wadded them into a ball and heaved them out the wide open passenger side door in the direction of Judy.

"Hey!" Judy squeaked from behind the bush.

"Oh, I'm sorry, would you prefer to drip dry?" Jen retorted.

Judy popped up just moments later, pulling her panties back up over the length of her legs and Jen had to swallow the lump in her throat as she watched the fabric disappear back under Judy's dress.

Judy awkwardly strolled back to the car, avoiding Jen's gaze. Her brief burst of confidence had quickly disappeared and now she was nervous to be back in the car again with Jen after the little show she had put on.

What was she thinking? Jen was her best friend and it was inappropriate for her to do what she had done, especially when they were still trying to figure out their relationship.

But when Judy finally looked up at Jen, just as she was nearing the car, Jen had an expression that Judy hadn't seen on Jen's face before. Was Jen flustered?

Judy stood outside the car and leaned her thighs against the seat, crossing her arms over her chest and letting a small smile spread across her lips.

Jen tilted her head to the side and lightly drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

"What are you doing? Aren't you going to get in?" Jen asked with a hint of impatience in her voice.

Judy decided she was going to throw all caution to the wind and play dumb with Jen in order to try and figure out what the blonde was thinking.

"Were you watching me?" Judy asked with as much innocence as she could muster.

Jen's eyes widened the tiniest bit and Judy could practically see the excuses running through her brain.

Jen quickly recovered before replying with a casual "Of course not."

Judy shrugged and climbed into the car. "Huh, it just felt like maybe I was being watched before I disappeared behind the bush."

Jen watched as Judy buckled back in and turned to look at her, a mischievous glint in those brown eyes. "Weird," was all Jen could think to say.

Jen reached into her purse and pulled out a small bottle of hand sanitizer, urging Judy to open her hands. Jen squirted a few drops into Judy's palms and tried to refrain from saying what she wanted to, but couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Didn't take you for a lace panty kinda girl."

Judy snapped her head up to look at Jen, who was staring back at her like she hadn't just mentioned Judy's panties and thinking about her in them.

"D-do you think about my panties often?"

Jen's milky white skin quickly began to turn red as she didn't know how to respond and regretted saying anything in the first place. Judy looked so smug with her eyebrow quirked upward, watching Jen's reaction.

Blue eyes dropped down to focus on Judy's hands as she slowly rubbed them together. The hand sanitizer must have dried already, now Judy was just torturing Jen.

Jen licked her lips and brought her eyes back up to the brown ones across from her.

"Don't be ridiculous, Judy. I don't think about your panties. I was just surprised, that's all."

'Smooth, Jen, really fucking smooth,' she thought to herself.

Nothing was said between the two for a brief second as they stared at each other. Judy's sly smirk grew into a cheeky grin as she let out a little laugh.

"Relax, Jen, I'm just messing with you."

Jen let out a high pitched laugh that sounded like she was choking. She was acting like she was a teenager all over again, horny and lovestruck. To make matters worse, she was acting this way over the one person she probably shouldn't be.

"W-we should probably get going." She was stuttering. Why the fuck was she stuttering? Jen silently told herself to pull it together, otherwise this was going to be a long weekend.

Judy nodded, "Good idea." Jen put the car in drive and merged back onto the highway.

Judy could tell that things were tense again, but in a different way. Before, Jen was tense about acknowledging their past, now it was more the future. Judy couldn't spend the whole weekend like this, and definitely couldn't spend the rest of the drive in awkward silence.

"I want this weekend to be fun, Jen. I want us to be able to release everything and just be in the moment. We can't be thinking about the past...o-or the future the whole time. It'll ruin this," She gestured between the two of them. "We'll talk about it when we're ready, but we can't be dreading it."

Jen didn't respond for a little while and Judy was beginning to wonder if she had heard her at all. They drove along for several minutes before Jen finally spoke.

"You're right."

And Jen meant it when she said it. She remembered her thoughts last night and how she promised herself to keep Judy happy. In order to do that she was going to have to push past her own insecurities and worries. But for Judy, it was worth it. It was always worth it.

And on Judy's part, she did what she knew best and placed her hand on Jen's thigh, trying to be a reassuring presence.

"I know."

Jen chuckled and glanced at Judy. Her sweet, wonderful, caring best friend.

"Oh, modest."

Judy shrugged and returned the laugh.

"Alright then Judy Hale, starting right now, we just enjoy the moment."

And so they did. For the next hour and 30 minutes they talked and laughed, listened to music and enjoyed each other's company.

And when they passed into Santa Barbara county and Judy looked out at the waves rolling along below the highway, she felt a sense of excitement. When she looked at Jen, she saw the same look on the blonde's face.


	6. Chapter 6

Jen rolled down the windows as they exited the highway and entered into town, taking a deep breath and letting the sea air fill her lungs. She glanced over at Judy and watched the wind whip her hair around, her eyes closed and a giant smile plastered on her face.

Jen bit her lip, loving the sight and wishing she could stare at Judy forever, but she needed to return her eyes to the road.

They drove through town in silence, listening to the birds chirp, and when they got closer to the beach, the waves crash.

"Judy," Jen spoke softly.

Judy slowly opened her eyes and lazily looked at Jen, "Hm?"

"Are you hungry? Should we get some lunch first and then go to the hotel? Or should we check in first?"

Judy scrunched up her face a little bit in thought and Jen's heart melted. She wondered how this woman could go from sexy to absolutely adorable in such a short amount of time.

"Mmm why don't we go check in. We can just leave the car there and walk around for a bit."

Jen nodded in agreement and listened as the GPS system navigated them just a few more miles to their home for the weekend.

When they pulled into the hotel parking lot and Jen slid into a parking space, Judy's eyes widened a little and her breath hitched in her throat upon remembering what their sleeping situation would be like. She didn't think Jen would be too pleased.

Jen must have heard Judy's breathing problems because she quickly looked over at her with furrowed brows.

"Are you ok?"

Judy smiled a tight smile and nodded her head. "I'm fine!" She placed her hand on Jen's seat belt buckle, preventing her from unbuckling. "Why don't you stay here and I'll go check in," she added nervously.

Jen squinted her eyes, sceptical as to why Judy was acting so weird all of a sudden.

"Um, ok?"

Judy hurriedly grabbed her purse and hopped out of the car. "There's no need for us both to go in," she said just before closing the car door.

As Judy walked away, Jen watched her in the rearview mirror. She watched as Judy's dress swayed in the breezed and was briefly brought back to the piece of clothing underneath. Jen's eyes traveled from Judy's shoulders and down her back, which were exposed due to the spaghetti straps and slight scoop of the dress, and kept going until they landed on Judy's ass. Finally, she tore her eyes away, realizing how she was staring at her best friend, and focused on the beach in front of her.

Judy had picked the most amazing location for them to stay. Their hotel was directly across the street from the beach, allowing them a beautiful view of the ocean. Bushes of hydrangeas dotted the sidewalk and palm trees stretched toward the sky. The location was perfect as well, as they were in the heart of the town, shops and restaurants were all around them. Judy was right, they could leave the car here and walk wherever they wanted to go.

Speaking of Judy…

Jen checked her watch and realized the brunette had been gone kind of a long time. Just as Jen was about to head inside, Judy came out of the office, a slight skip in her step.

Jen stepped out and met Judy at the back of the car. The brunette flashed the keys and handed one to her best friend.

"We're just a little ways down, so we can just leave the car parked right here," Judy informed.

Jen opened the hatch and the women unloaded the car. They made their way down the outdoor hallway to their room. Jen got there a little before Judy and before she could stop her, the blonde inserted her key and opened the door, stepping inside.

Judy held her breath and waited for the reaction she had no doubt was about to come.

"Um Judy, there's only one fucking bed."

Judy tentatively stepped inside and laughed nervously, looking anywhere besides Jen and the bed.

"Yeah, about that, they only have rooms with one king bed left."

Jen faced Judy with an irritated look etched on her face.

"You cannot be serious!"

Judy slightly pouted and tears began to fill her eyes. She knew this was going to be a problem and went through with it anyway.

"You're right Jen, we can't sleep like this all weekend. It's stupid, this was a stupid idea. I'm sorry."

Upon seeing her companion's reaction, Jen softened and stepped towards Judy, who flinched a little. Jen hated that she had made Judy slightly afraid of her when she's angry. A flashback to when Jen had pushed her, unnecessarily hard, shoved its way into her mind. She shook it away and pushed it back into the depths of memories she wanted to disappear.

"Hey," Jen said softly. She had overreacted and she knew it. Judy was trying to do something nice for her and she was pissed about there only being one bed. How pathetic.

"Judy, no, it's ok. This is ok."

Judy looked up and a tear slipped down her cheek, "It is?"

Jen stepped closer, this time Judy didn't move, and swiped away the drop of water. She mentally kicked herself for making Judy so upset.

"Yeah, this is fine. We've fallen asleep on the couch together while watching TV, how different could this be?"

This time Judy was the one to take a step closer. Her arms snaked around Jen's waist while Jen's easily wrapped around Judy's back.

"You're still a good hugger," Judy murmured into Jen's shoulder.

Jen laughed and squeezed Judy tighter, running her hands over the brunette's bare shoulder blades.

Judy chanced saying something in this very rare moment of Jen being vulnerable and willingly affectionate. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

She could feel Jen's muscles tense under her fingers, but instead of getting angry and pretending like nothing was said, Jen laid her forehead on Judy's shoulder and whispered, "Maybe someday," before pulling away.

Jen's comment left Judy a little bewildered. It was the first time she had hinted at any sort of future and it gave Judy hope that things would work out the way she wanted them to. She sent a silent 'thank you' to the heavens for giving them only one bed.

A slightly awkward silence had settled over the room as Jen began to unpack a few things. Judy walked closer to her, closing the distance that Jen had created after their affectionate moment. She knew the blonde was just trying to busy herself in order to avoid analyzing what she had just said to Judy. It was such a Jen thing to do.

Delicately, Judy took Jen's hand into her own and gently tugged her toward the door, grabbing both of their purses along the way.

"Come on, unpacking can wait until later. Let's go eat."

Judy's soft brown eyes and sweet smile made Jen soften and release the tension in her muscles that she had been holding since their hug.

The pair journeyed just a few blocks from their hotel to a restaurant right on the beach where they could sit outside and enjoy the sunshine. It was only a little after noon, but Jen already could feel the familiar need for a drink. There had already been too many emotions and thoughts running through her and it was still early. Getting through this weekend with a shred of her sanity still intact would require a plethora of alcohol.

The waitress came by and took their orders and upon hearing the drink Jen ordered, Judy joked, "Oh is mommy going to do whatever she wants because she's on vacation?"

Jen cracked a smile and released the rest of the tension she had been holding. Oh Judy, queen of turning an awkward situation into a lighthearted one. This was the woman that Jen had fallen for and when the thought crossed her mind, for the first time, she didn't try to den it. It was true, Jen was in love with Judy, she wouldn't be here if she wasn't.

Blue eyes stared at the profile of the woman across the table. Judy was staring off at the water, watching the waves roll in and out.

One of her hands was resting outstretched on the table and Jen couldn't help herself. She reached out and placed her hand over the smaller one. Judy jumped slightly at the contact, completely caught off guard.

"Judy…"

The brunette tore her gaze from the blue of the water to latch onto the blue of Jen's eyes.

"Thank you," Jen said sincerely.

Judy furrowed her brow and tilted her head, which Jen loved, and looked at her questioningly.

"For what?"

Jen squeezed Judy's fingers and gestured around them with her other hand.

"For this. For being the one person in this fucked up world that I can rely on, that doesn't make me feel like I'm a complete failure."

Judy watched Jen as a layer of her hard exterior broke down, allowing Judy the chance to see her and how broken she still was.

"Thank you, Jen. For the friendship, the acceptance, and for so much more."

A memory of a similar situation, them at the beach, indirectly confessing how much they needed each other, made its way into Judy's mind. Oh how things had changed since that night.

When the food arrived, Judy had an idea.

"Can we actually get some boxes and take this to go?" The waitress stared at Judy, a little sceptical and annoyed at her asking, but ultimately nodded her head, retreating to get boxes and the check.

"Um, Judy? What are you doing?"

Judy's smile widened, "I have an idea."


	7. Chapter 7

"You were right, getting sand up my ass is so much better than sitting in a nice restaurant with chairs."

Judy rolled her eyes and shoved Jen playfully. They had moved their lunch from the restaurant to the beach itself, planting themselves just a few feet from the water's edge, styrofoam boxes of food resting in their laps.

"Come on Jen, admit that this is more fun. We're sitting on the beach!'

"We could sit on the beach at home," Jen grumbled under her breath.

Judy slightly pouted and looked out toward the ocean, wiggling her toes slightly in the sand.

"Hey," Jen bumped her shoulder against Judy's and leaned her blonde head against the brunette one. "You're right, this is better than the restaurant."

"Yeah?" Judy asked hopefully.

Jen pulled her head back and looked Judy deeply in the eyes, smiling. "Yeah," she responded softly.

They popped the lids open on the food containers alternating between eating and talking. Sitting on the sand with Judy made Jen think of that first time they hung out outside of grief group. They had been talking on the phone all night for a week and finally Jen invited Judy over, wanting to be near the other woman. They drank, they drove, and talked, eventually ending up on the beach, much like they were now. Jen thought about how, despite grieving, things were so much easier back then. She remembers feelings bubbling inside her from very early on, influenced by alcohol and weed, telling Judy that she was thankful for her on the beach that night, Jen's way of expressing her love without actually saying it. She remembers the night being chilly, but not being affected in the slightest because she felt so warm inside, thanks to Judy. That night was the first time in a long time that Jen had seen something resembling love in another person's eyes that was directed toward her.

Lost in her train of thought she didn't notice the tiny hand make its way into Jen's lap until she felt the container shift.

"Hey!" Jen swatted Judy's hand playfully and sent her a little glare. Judy snatched her hand back and yelped, but quickly started giggling.

"Back off, you didn't want your own fries, so don't try to steal mine!"

"I didn't think you'd notice if I just took one," Judy said in between giggles.

"Well I did."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Judy asked huskily, suddenly serious. She was hoping Jen would do something kind of crazy, like kiss her.

Jen stopped and stared at Judy, knowing exactly what she wanted to do, but also knowing that she wasn't going to do it. Instead, she reached down and swiped her finger through the glob of ketchup laying in her container of food and trailed in down Judy's nose and across her lips.

"There," Jen's voice had changed and now matched the huskiness of Judy's.

Judy's tongue poked out from behind her lips and slowly started to lick the ketchup off her face. Jen watched, her heart hammering in her chest so loudly she was sure Judy could hear. Jen knew Judy was teasing her, and it was driving her insane, but she was still too scared to tell the other woman how she felt about her.

Judy was giving her every opportunity to confess, but Jen just couldn't. Not yet at least.

Her face cleaned up, Judy continued to watch Jen, the internal conflict evident on her face.

"Let yourself feel how you want, Jen."

The blonde tore her eyes away and watched the waves crash, feeling the moment crash with them. "Judy…"

Dropping her head to focus on her half eaten food, frustration, rejection, and sadness swirling inside her, Judy sighed. "I know."

Judy knew how she felt and she was pretty sure she knew how Jen felt too, but she also didn't think it was her place to make the first move. Judy had loved Jen from the moment she met her and never stopped, even after all of the harsh things that were said between the two after Jen found out the truth. Jen was the one who had a change of heart. Judy didn't want to screw things up again, so she needed Jen to figure out her feelings and make the first move.

"Ok, come on."

Jen stood up and wiped the sand off the back of her shorts and reached down, grabbing for Judy's hands.

Wide brown eyes looked up in confusion.

"Where are we going?"

Jen pulled Judy up and they stood face-to-face, inches apart. She reached down and swiped at Judy's ass playfully, ridding her dress of the sand particles.

"How partial are you to that dress?"

Before Judy could answer, Jen was pulling her towards the water.

"You wanted me to lighten up a little, here we fucking go!"

"Jen!" Judy squealed as the freezing water washed over her bare feet and Jen continued to pull her deeper into the ocean.

Judy tried to pull away and escape back onto land, but Jen grabbed onto her waist and pulled her back. The water began to rise higher until it was at Judy's thighs, suctioning her dress to her legs. Realizing that Jen was not struggling nearly as much as she was, due to the fact that she was wearing shorts and didn't have something sticking to her legs, Judy wanted to get her back. She sunk her hands into the sea, cupping them to bring up as much water as possible.

"Judy!" This time Jen was the one trying to escape as she saw what the brunette was about to do. But it was too late. Judy released the water on Jen's head and watched it trickle down her face, neck, and down her shirt. The light blue T-shirt Jen was wearing was quickly becoming see through and Judy couldn't help but notice she was wearing a lacy black bra underneath.

While Judy was busy staring a Jen's chest, the blonde scooped her hands through the water and flicked upward, landing a giant splash on Judy's upper body, fully dousing her in water.

Judy's dress was now fully clinging to her body, accentuating her ribs, stomach, and the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Jen ran her eyes over Judy's body, unable to hide how flush she had become. Judy crossed her arms over her chest, which frankly only made things worse for Jen. Her arms only pushed her boobs up higher and pressed her dress closer to her body.

A shiver ran through Judy's body, both from the cold and Jen's stare. Jen threw her arm around Judy's shoulder and rubbed her hand up and town the other woman's arm.

"Come on, let's get you inside. You're freezing."

"Gee, I wonder why," Judy snarkily responded.

"Oh, was that sass, Miss Hale?"

Judy shrugged, "I learned from the best."

The women gathered their belongings and trudged up the beach, walking back to their hotel.

Jen couldn't help but think how great it felt to have fun with Judy again. It was the first time in a long time that they actually let go and just had a good time. During the walk back Jen kept glancing at the woman next to her. Judy had the most serene look on her face, and Jen knew she felt it too, the connection was coming back.


	8. Chapter 8

Night was quickly descending on the city, the setting sun illuminating everything in a golden haze.

Jen was sitting on the bed in a fresh outfit waiting for Judy to emerge from the bathroom so they could go out for the evening.

She was trying hard not to think of all the events of the day, not wanting to ruin the peace she felt in her chest. She hadn't felt that good in a long time. Acting like crazy teenagers with Judy made her think that maybe it _was_ time to talk about things, not only to allow herself to move on and feel some sort of true happiness again, but also because she really missed what she and Judy shared from before.

Jen heard the bathroom door creak open and looked up from where she was staring off. The blonde's breath hitched in her throat when she saw that Judy was now wearing a white tank top tucked into army green capris. The tanktop hugged her in all the right places and Jen couldn't help but stare. Her hair was damp and slightly wavy, releasing little droplets down her back.

Judy looked down at Jen, who hadn't moved from her spot on the bed.

"Like what you see?"

Jen raked her eyes over Judy's body one more time before bringing them to meet the brown orbs looking back at her.

"You're alright, I guess," Jen teased and stood up from the bed.

Judy slipped into a pair of black wedges and threw a matching black kimono over her shoulders. Jen pouted slightly at no longer being able to see Judy's tiny, but strong, shoulders.

The brunette looked Jen up and down, not at all trying to downplay that she was checking her out. Jen was wearing dark jeans that curved over her ass perfectly, and a plain red quarter sleeved top that scooped to show the tops of her breasts.

"You're not half bad yourself," Judy remarked with a wink.

She headed for the door, already knowing that Jen would be following her, and jumped when she felt a hand dip into her back pocket. She quickly spun around to see Jen holding a dryer sheet between her fingers and a smirk on her face.

"Didn't think you'd want this sticking out."

Judy returned the smirk and locked eyes with Jen.

"Was pinching my ass part of removing it?"

Jen shrugged and lightly pushed Judy on the shoulder to turn her around so they could walk out of the room.

"Just a bit of added fun."

They decided to wander downtown, which was just a few short blocks from their hotel. The city was buzzing with life. It was a Friday night so there were people everywhere enjoy the beautiful evening.

Jen looked down in between her and Judy, noticing how close their hands were as they walked. If she were to reach out just a little bit, she'd be able to take Judy's hand in her own.

Judy lightly brushed her pinky along Jen's, letting her know that she was there and she understood.

Jen smiled and looked at Judy, who was taking everything in around her. The fairy lights that hung from each building danced across Judy's face and made Jen melt. She had never seen someone as beautiful as Judy, and the best part was that she was just as beautiful on the inside.

"What are you thinking," Jen asked as they continued to stroll along the sidewalk.

Judy slightly scrunched her face and tilted her head a little to the side.

"I'm thinking how nice it is here...and how nice it is to be here with you."

Jen smiled and wrapped an arm around Judy's shoulders.

"I'm happy to be here with you."

They continued on a little bit longer, dipping into little shops everyone once in a while, but mostly content to just walk and enjoy each other's company. They finally sat down to dinner at a local bar and grill where they drank more than they probably should have.

But it helped Jen relax, so while Judy would not admit it to her face, she was, in fact, trying to get the blonde a little bit tipsy.

After their third drink apiece, they decided to call it a night and start to head back to their room.

It was still relatively early in the night, just about nine, but the crowd outside had thinned quite a bit and now only a handful or stragglers were left on the streets.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, or the fear that came with the realization that they were going back to a room with only one bed, but Jen wasn't ready to head straight back.

"Would you maybe want to walk a little more before we go back to the room?"

Judy smiled at Jen, happy to spend time with her no matter where they were, "Sure."

They ended up back on the beach, the cold sand squishing between their toes and the waves that they could barely see crashing on the shore.

It was silent between them for a little while, both having many things they wanted to say, but unsure of how to bring them up or if now was even the right time.

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we had met under different circumstances?" Judy asked innocently and quietly. So quiet she was unsure if Jen heard her because she didn't reply right away.

Just as Judy was beginning to wonder if she had even spoken those words allowed or if they were in her head, she heard a quiet "Yes."

A brief silence fell over them again before Jen sighed and dropped her head to look at the sand.

"Look, Judy, I'm really sorry about getting so fucking worked up about the whole bed thing. It's just…" She trailed off, feeling pathetic for the words she was about to say.

But Judy got her, just like always, and placed a reassuring hand on Jen's shoulder.

"Your feelings are valid, Jen. You don't have to be sorry for them."

Judy was too good to her and it made her feel even worse for going off on her earlier, especially over something as stupid as there only being one bed.

"Regardless, I shouldn't have gone all 'crazy Jen' on you. That was a dick move. It's just that I have not shared a bed with anyone since Ted, and well, I'm a little scared. Not that it means anything, I mean, it's just a fucking bed. But I'm still a little afraid to have another person beside me."

A loan tear had slipped it's way down Jen's cheek and Judy reached out to wipe it away.

"I completely understand and I should have thought about that before I booked the room."

Jen stopped walking and turned to face Judy, reaching out a hand to grip the brunette's bicep and spin her so they were looking at each other.

"I don't want you to apologize for trying to do something nice. You're amazing and I can't even tell you how grateful I am that you did this. These feelings are my problem that I need to deal with." She paused, taking in a deep breath and letting it all the way out. "And I think I'm ready."

"Really? I mean, we can stay out her a little longer and walk, you know, if you want more time."

Jen shook her head and looked at Judy, fully, so the brunette would know that she was serious and sure.

"Now is as good a time as ever. We can delay it all we want, but eventually we're going to go back to that room and there isn't magically going to be two beds. There is still just going to be the one."

Judy nodded, not really sure what to say. Neither woman made a move to head in the direction of the hotel. They were silent for just a beat before Jen spoke again.

"Plus, I know you've been dying to get me into bed."

At that Jen began to walk again, leaving Judy frozen in place, her mouth hanging open.

"You coming?" Jen called over her shoulder.

Judy scampered to catch up with Jen, her now shaky legs having a hard time carrying her.

"I haven't been-"

"Relax Jude, I'm just messing with you," Jen shot her a wink.

Jen was feeling a bit lighter about the situation. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the talk, but the idea of going back to a space that was just for her and Judy didn't scare her quite as much anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

Judy came out of the bathroom to find Jen standing at the foot of the bed, intently focused on it, almost like if she stared hard enough it would magically split in two.

"Are you okay?"

Jen slowly turned her head to look at Judy, who had a somewhat worried expression etched on her face.

Jen gulped, loud enough for Judy to hear, and nodded her head. "Yeah, I'm good."

Judy smiled and glanced briefly at the bed that Jen had gone back to burning a hole into.

"Which way do you swing?"

Jen squinted her eyes, "What?"

"I just mean…" Judy gestured toward the bed. "Which side do you sleep on?"

Jen let out a nervous chuckle, "Oh, um, I'm a left side kinda girl."

Judy climbed up onto the bed, which gave Jen a perfect view of her ass, and patted the spot next to her.

"Perfect! I'm a right side sleeper. We were meant to be."

"Fuckin Judy," Jen thought. The brunette knew exactly what she was doing and judging by the look on her face, she was enjoying getting a rise out of Jen.

Slowly, lifting one leg at a time, Jen put her knees on the bed and crawled up to sit beside Judy.

Judy swore she hadn't seen anything quite as sexy as Jen crawling up a bed in a loose t-shirt and short silk shorts, bare faced and her hair in a loose, messy bun.

Jen's blue eyes twinkled as she peered at Judy through her lashes, a sea of fear, insecurity, and a hint of lust swirled deep within them.

"Stop watching me."

Judy blushed and looked straight ahead as Jen situated herself beneath the covers. Once she was settled, she huffed out a breath and folded her hands on her stomach. She again peered at Judy, who was sitting cross legged beside her leaning her back against the headboard.

"Are you going to lie down or sleep sitting up?"

Judy pulled her legs from beneath her and bent them in front of her so she could pull the blankets up and slip them underneath the warmth.

It all happened in slow motion for Jen as she watched the muscles in Judy's thighs flex before they disappeared and were replaced with Judy's brown locks splaying across the pillow.

Jen reached over and turned off the lamp on the bedside table leaving the room in almost complete darkness, minus the slivers of light that slipped in through the cracks in the curtains.

Judy could tell that Jen wasn't going to say anything else and could feel how tense the blonde was beside her.

They lay flat on their backs staring up at the ceiling, Jen trying to control her racing mind and Judy wanting nothing more than to touch the other woman, to calm her. Judy turned on her side to look at Jen's profile and the little light that shone through illuminated a single tear running down the corner of Jen's eye, down her temple, into her hair.

Judy scooted closer to Jen, pressing the front of her body against Jen's arm and wrapping her hands around her bicep. She rested her chin on Jen's shoulder and waited for any kind of sign that Jen wanted her to stop, but nothing came.

So Judy pushed her luck and leaned in, pressing her lips against the wet trail on Jen's temple.

Jen let out and shuttered breath and closed her eyes. Judy was surprised to feel Jen lean into her touch instead of try to pull away like she expected her to.

Judy rested her nose and forehead against the spot she had just kissed for a moment before starting to pull away.

Jen grabbed Judy's wrist with her hand and held her in place.

"You don't have to move."

"Okay," Judy whispered into Jen's hair.

Judy danced her fingers on Jen's stomach as she snaked her arm across to pull her closer. Jen's shirt had slightly ridden up, allowing the pads of Judy's fingers to feel the warm skin of the blonde's hip.

Jen found Judy's other hand and tangled their fingers together and let her head rest against Judy's, feeling the brunette's breath against her neck.

Judy began to whisper sweet things in Jen's ear and lazily draw shapes on her side and hip, trying to help her relax.

Gradually, Judy could feel the muscles in Jen's body give in to her touch and relax completely.

Just after one in the morning Judy realized that Jen had fallen asleep, wrapped in her embrace. Judy gave a small smile into the darkness and kissed the side of Jen's head.

It killed Judy that Jen found it so hard to fall asleep with someone else, especially her, in the same bed. Mostly because she knew she was the reason for it. She hit Ted and destroyed Jen's life and even after Judy had lied to her, Jen wanted her back.

Judy lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, arms wrapped protectively around Jen and thought about the past year, really thought about it for the first time.

How they had gone from Judy's confession, to Steve being dead, to the trial that ultimately revealed it was a lawful shooting. From Jen telling Judy she wanted her to die, to saying that she never wanted her to leave again.

Of course it was hard at first, hell it was still hard sometimes, hence the occasional tense behavior. But even so, they had come so far in the past year.

When Judy first came back to live with Jen, the blonde was still so furious that she wouldn't let Judy into the house at all, nor was she allowed to have contact with the boys unless Jen was present. Jen would watch her like a hawk, trying to gain back the trust that had been shattered. But then Jen would come to her late at night and they would talk like they used to. Eventually, Jen stopped locking the doors to the house and quit monitoring Judy. Deep down Jen always knew that Judy was harmless and what had happened to Ted was just an accident.

She was more mad at the fact that Judy had let Jen fall for her, but was harboring a secret and had lied to Jen about everything.

As the minutes ticked by and Judy finally grew tired, she held Jen closer, thankful that she was there with her, thankful that Jen had let her come back.

In the last moments before she drifted off, she whispered her love for Jen into the darkness, closing her eyes and letting herself fall.

And when she opened them again early the next morning, she found herself surrounded by the strong arms of the blonde, who had, at some point in the night, shifted and became the big spoon.

She felt Jen shift behind her and then the cold air hit her back as the blonde pulled away.

Judy turned her head to look over her shoulder at Jen who had tried to move herself as far away as possible.

Jen saw Judy watching her and shot her a sympathetic look.

"Shit, I was trying not to wake you."

At this point, Judy had rolled over completely to face Jen who was looking back at her with an expression of shyness that Judy hadn't really ever seen from her.

"Uh, I'm sorry," Jen said.

Judy squinted her eyes and furrowed her brows. "For what?"

Jen tried to look anywhere but at Judy's face, finally settling on the sheet, where she pretended to pick a piece of lint from the bed.

"For being so close to you when we woke up."

Judy chuckled a little, genuinely finding it amusing how uncomfortable Jen was with their contact.

"You don't have to be sorry, Jen. I liked it."

They were silent for a moment, Judy watching Jen, and Jen avoiding Judy's gaze.

"You were crying," Jen said so faintly that Judy barely heard.

"I was?" Judy asked with an embarrassed tone.

Jen finally brought her eyes up to the brown ones across from her as she nodded.

"Yeah, it actually woke me up. I looked over and you were curled up and crying. I didn't really know what to do, so I just kinda held you until you went back to sleep, but I must have fallen back to sleep, too. When I woke up, I still had my arms around you."

Judy squeezed her eyes closed and breathed out through her nose.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Hey," Jen reached out and placed her hand gently on Judy's cheek, forcing her to open her eyes, only to be met with Jen's worried expression.

"Don't apologize. I was just worried about you. I'm not Steve, Judy. I'm not going to get mad at you for something so small. I know that all of this has been stressful for you and you've been holding it together for the both of us. You are allowed to feel things."

Judy was crying now, again. Jen wiped her thumb under the brunette's eyes to catch the falling water.

"You don't have to be strong all the time, Jude."

Jen moved her hand down to Judy's arm and tugged lightly, urging the brunette to scoot closer. They met in the middle and Jen immediately enveloped Judy in her arms.

Judy let her head fall to Jen's chest, her tears wetting the shirt she was wearing, but Jen didn't care in the slightest. She held Judy as her shoulders shook with her sobs.

"Fuck Jen, I'm so sorry," Judy choked out.

"It's okay, don't be sorry," She soothed.

"No, I'm _sorry. _For everything. For lying to you, for hurting you, f-for….for Ted."

Jen froze in place, tensing at the mention of Ted. It was easier to pretend that Judy had nothing to do with his death when they didn't acknowledge it. Jen pushed those thoughts aside and remembered that the woman she was holding was her Judy, and her Judy wouldn't ever intentionally hurt anything or anybody. In fact, so much of what happened was Steve's fault. She loved Judy and forgave her for everything that happened.

"It's okay. _We're _okay."

Jen wrapped her arms tighter around Judy, letting her know that she meant what she said.

Eventually the tears stopped coming and Judy's breathing returned to normal. Jen took that as her signal to remove her arms and create a little bit of distance between them.

"We should get up, don't want to spend what little time we have here in bed."

Jen nodded and threw the covers off, climbing out of bed and striding toward the bathroom.

"It is alright if I shower first?"

Sitting up on her elbows, Judy watched Jen's toned legs carry her body around the room, and her ass just barely covered by the tiny shorts she was wearing.

"Judy?"

Judy swallowed hard, "Hm?"

"I asked if I could shower first."

"Oh right, yes of course!"

Just before Jen disappeared behind the door of the bathroom Judy called out to her.

"And thank you, by the way."

Jen poked her head out from behind the half closed door.

"For what?"

"For being here for me and for comforting me."

Jen smiled, "Same to you."

The door closed and Judy flopped back down, covering her face with her hands. She wouldn't be able to hold out much longer, she needed Jen to figure out her feelings fast.


	10. Chapter 10

"Judy! Hurry up! By the time we get out of here it'll be night again!"

Jen had been as patient as she possibly could be while she waited for Judy to get ready. But the blonde had reached the end of her rope and was growing more restless the longer she sat.

"Give me a minute!" Judy called through the bathroom door. "Not all of us can go days without washing their hair!"

"Hey! Don't make me come in there and pull you out, regardless of if you're clothed or not!"

"You'd like that wouldn't you!"

"You have five minutes!"

"Oh, you're timing me now!"

"Five minutes, Judy!"

Jen paced the floor and decided to send a text to Charlie, asking how they were doing with Lorna. As she waited for a response from her eldest, she heard a loud bang come from the bathroom.

"Jude?"

Jen rushed to the door and pressed her ear against it, listening for some movement inside. She didn't hear anything and began to turn the doorknob, ready to burst in and save Judy.

"I'm alright," came Judy's muffled call from the other side.

"You don't really sound alright…"

Another thump came from behind the door, making Jen even more anxious.

"Fuck it," she muttered to herself.

"Judy, I'm coming in!"

"No, do-"

But before Judy was able to finish her frantic refusal, Jen had thrown the door open and stepped inside.

"Oh my god," Jen threw a hand over her mouth to try and contain the laughter that threatened to spill out.

"Don't, Jen!"

Judy was standing in the center of the bathroom with her arms high above her head and the dress she had been attempting to put on, fully stuck along her biceps and head.

"How.." Jen was fully laughing now, unable to contain it. "How does that even happen?"

"I don't know," Judy whined. "Will you help me?"

Jen stood up from her doubled-over position and finally fully looked at Judy. Being that her dress was stuck on her arms, she was clad in nothing but her bra and underwear.

Since the dress was blocking Judy's vision, she wasn't able to see the way Jen was staring at her, so the blonde took full advantage. Jen let her eyes slowly trail down Judy's body, taking in every inch of the exposed olive skin. She started at her collar bones, going lower until she reached Judy's breasts, which were covered by a black lace bra. They were being pushed together and up slightly, making Jen's mouth water just a bit. Jen moved her eyes farther down, appreciating Judy's smooth, flat stomach. Finally, she got to the matching black panties that were relatively sheer, leaving little to the imagination.

Jen was breathing heavily, angry at herself for staring at Judy this way, but not angry enough to stop. Judy was beautiful and Jen loved what she was seeing.

"Jen? Did you leave?"

"Hm? No, no I'm still here."

"Well then, think you might want to stop staring and help me? My arms are going numb."

Jen walked closer to Judy, so close that her front was almost pressing against the brunette's. Jen reached up and grabbed ahold of the dress, tugging it down until it passed over Judy's body, covering her up.

They were face-to-face, both of them breathing heavier than usual.

"I wasn't staring," Jen whispered. "I was admiring."

She backed away, and left the bathroom completely. Leaving Judy still standing in the center, hair messed up and mouth wide open.

Judy turned toward the mirror and braced herself against the counter. She looked down at her body and thanked her past self for packing, and ultimately deciding to wear, the black bra and panty set. She had hoped it would come in handy at some point during the trip.

Judy quickly finished getting ready and took one last glance at herself in the mirror. She was excited to spend the day with Jen and try to make the blonde come out of her shell a little more.

While Jen had been waiting for Judy to get ready, she had looked up places for them to enjoy brunch. After the night that both of them had, but mostly Judy, Jen wanted to treat her to a nice meal, it was the least she could do.

So Jen grabbed Judy's hand and led her just a little ways down from their hotel to a quaint restaurant that sat out on the pier.

"Jen, this place is packed. There's no way we're going to get a table. Let's just go somewhere else."

Jen ignored Judy and continued to pull her through the crowded space and right up to the hostess.

"Hi! Reservation for Jen Harding."

The waitress scanned the sheet in front of her and nodded.

"Yes, I have it right here. A table for two requested in our special dining area. Right this way please."

Jen began to follow the hostess and felt Judy's fingers slip from her own. She turned around to find the brunette rooted in the same spot.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Judy?"

"I-"

Jen rolled her eyes and grabbed Judy's hand again, forcing her forward.

"Come on."

They followed the hostess through the restaurant and out double doors onto a secluded patio that overlooked the water.

Jen heard Judy gasp from behind her and smiled to herself, proud at having picked the perfect location for their brunch. Jen was never good at the whole "romance" thing, but she had never tried harder than when Judy walked into her life.

Jen thanked the hostess and pulled out a chair for Judy to sit.

"Wow, such a gentleman."

Jen smirked, "Only for you," she said and took her seat across from Judy.

"I can't believe you did this, Jen. You must have pulled a few strings to get us a reservation here."

Jen shrugged her shoulders and smiled, turning her head out toward the water.

"It was worth it. You deserve something nice and this is my way of saying thank you."

Judy smiled as she gazed at Jen's profile, the frustrations of the last year slowly easing away. She wanted Jen to admit her feelings more than anything in the world. But as she watched the woman across from her, Judy knew that she was falling more and more in love and would wait forever for Jen.

They enjoyed their meals, sharing laughs and smiles across the table. Jen thought about how easy it was with Judy, she and Ted hardly ever had moments like this, but with Judy it just came naturally.

In the brief moments of silence that passed between the two women while they ate, Jen would let her mind wander to Ted. She thought about how it would have been if he were still around. Would she still be miserable? Would they even still be together? She also wondered about Judy, and Steve for that matter. Would Judy still be stuck under his spell? The brunette had grown so much as a person since Steve had been gone. It was a morbid thing to think about, but Steve dying had been a good thing for Judy. She was allowed to be herself for the first time in a long time and Jen for one was enjoying seeing the growth.

They circumstances in which Jen and Judy found each other, but Jen would admit, only to herself of course, that it had been for the best.

As they wrapped up their meals, Judy caught Jen staring at her.

She tilted her head to the side in that cute way she always did when she was questioning something.

"What?" She giggled. "Do I have something on my face?"

Jen chuckled back and shook her head.

"No, I was just thinking."

"Oh? About what?"

"About…" Jen trailed off, watching Judy's mannerisms as she waited for Jen to finish. She had leaned forward on her elbows just the slightest in anticipation.

"I was thinking about how much I love…" Judy leaned forward even more, holding her breath so she could hear clearly what was coming. "That we're here enjoying this trip."

Judy let out the breath and hoped her face didn't show the disappointment she felt. She thought Jen was finally going to admit her feelings.

"I love that we're here too," Judy responded, trying to sound as chipper as she could.

Judy thought to herself how this was a step in the right direction. Jen had been much more touchy and open today than she had been in a long time. The fact that she even seemed like she was going to say what Judy wanted was much closer to the actual thing than they had come before. Judy had faith that by the end of this weekend, everything would be out in the open.


	11. Chapter 11

Jen paid the bill and together they meandered down the pier and out along the beach.

There was a line of vendors selling assorted crafts and goods along the sidewalk and Jen could tell that Judy was eager to gaze at the items.

"Would you like to look a little bit?" Jen asked with a small smirk on her face.

Judy's eyes danced across the different tables as she responded.

"Mm only if you want to."

Judy, always the pleaser, wanting to go along with whatever the other person wanted to do.

"I want to if you do," Jen responded.

Judy's eyes lit up ever so slightly, "Maybe just for a few minutes."

As they slowly drifted further down the sidewalk, Judy stopping to tell each person how nice their work was, Jen noticed the brunette pause at a particular necklace and take an extra long time looking at it.

As Judy continued on, Jen picked up the piece of jewelry and handed the lady who was selling it the money.

"That's really nice of you to buy that for your girlfriend," the woman said.

Jen's eyes grew wide at the assumption that she and Judy were together.

"Oh she's not...we're just friends," Jen stammered.

The woman looked at Jen with an amused expression on her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It just seemed like you two were a couple."

Jen awkwardly shifted from foot to foot as she waited to receive her change. As the woman handed it over she held on to Jen's hand.

"Honey, I see the way you look at her. If you love her, you must let her know."

Jen gulped and nodded, pulling her hand away shoving the change in one pocket and the necklace in another.

Judy hadn't gotten very far so it didn't take long for Jen to catch up with her, the brunette apparently oblivious to the fact that Jen was gone at all.

"Hey so I was thinking..." Jen started when she reached Judy's side.

"Hm?" Judy responded without looking in Jen's direction.

"What if we check out some of the night life around here? You owe me a club outing since you turned down the one in Palm Springs," Jen teased.

"Sure."

Judy still hadn't turned at all to look at Jen and she was acting a little bit weird. Her responses were short and she didn't seem to be in too much of a good mood anymore.

What Jen didn't know is that Judy had heard Jen's conversation with the woman. Actually, she had heard Jen tell the woman how she and Judy were "just friends."

Jen reached out her arm and placed her hand on Judy's shoulder, urging her to stop and turn to face her.

"Hey…"

Judy was doing everything in her power to avoid looking at Jen. She crossed her arms defiantly over her chest and pushed out her bottom lip ever so slightly into a pout.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah right. I can clearly see that something is bothering you."

Judy sighed and uncrossed her arms, her shoulders slumping forward.

"It's just that…" She desperately tried to search for something to say without telling Jen the whole truth. Judy didn't want Jen to know that she was upset at what she said, because, well because they weren't a couple. And because they had been having such a nice day already, she didn't want to ruin it by blowing something out of proportion.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired."

Judy inwardly cringed at her sorry attempt at dismantling the situation, but Jen seemed to understand, or at least pretended to believe Judy.

It wasn't entirely a lie. Judy was tired, but not the physical kind. She was tired of Jen playing with her feelings. Either she wanted to be with her, or she didn't. But the constant back and forth was beginning to take a toll on Judy.

"Well...why don't we head back to the hotel, change into our bathing suits and relax poolside. I hear they have a full bar out there."

Judy chuckled and rolled her eyes, both out of annoyance but also because Jen was a ridiculous person that made her laugh.

"Is your mind always on alcohol?"

"Mm yes," Jen winked.

"You do know that it's only two in the afternoon, right?"

"And that matters? Mommy is on vacation remember?"

"Ah right," Judy laughed, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in her heart at hearing Jen deny their relationship so quickly.

The walk back was relatively quiet and by the time they were by the pool, with drinks in their hands, Judy had shrugged off the earlier predicament.

The alcohol mixed with the sun and the exposure of skin that would usually be covered was making both women feel a lot more loose.

Jen kept stealing glances at Judy, happy to see the parts of the brunette's body that she had seen earlier that day when she was helping her with her dress. Judy was wearing a plain red bikini top with red and white polka-dot high-waisted bottoms. Her hair was pulled up into a bun, her neck fully exposed and all Jen could think about was kissing it.

The sight of Judy was making Jen feel things in the pit of her stomach. Unable to contain herself anymore, she decided cold water would help.

"I'm going to take a dip for a minute," She announced, her voice a little shaky.

Judy sat up on her elbows, gazing up at Jen and watching her walk away.

The blonde was having just about the same effect on Judy. Jen was never one to show off too much skin, but today she had thrown that all out. She was wearing a black one piece that dipped incredibly low in the front and was sheer along the sides.

Deliberately, Jen walked slowly to the steps of the pool, knowing full well that Judy was watching her. She stepped all the way in and swam over to the edge where their chairs sat.

Judy was still sitting up on her elbows when Jen came over and rested her arms on the side of the pool.

Judy pulled her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose just a bit so she could gaze at Jen over them.

The way Judy was looking at Jen was so intense, she was grateful she was in the cold water as she was sure her body was heating up all over.

"It feels good in here, you should join me."

Judy cocked her head to one side and grinned at the blonde.

"I don't know. Last time you got me in the water you attacked me."

"I can do that with you out there," Jen huskily responded.

This made Judy pull her glasses all the way off so Jen could see her eyes grow wide and the panic rise.

"Jen! Don't you even think about it!"

Jen smirked and lowered her arms into the water. At the same time, Judy sat up, which gave Jen a nice view of her breasts.

Judy tried to protest again, but it was too late as Jen lifted her arms and flicked a large amount of water in Judy's direction, hitting and soaking her.

This was, apparently, becoming Jen's signature way of flirting.

"What is it with you and water!" Judy screeched as she grabbed a towel from beside her. Jen had climbed out of the pool and plopped down in her seat.

She shrugged, "I thought you could use a cool down."

Judy glared at the blonde, who looked smuggly back at her.

"I figured if I was going to be wet, then so were you."

Judy's head snapped so fast to look at Jen that her neck cracked. Did Jen just insinuate that Judy was turning her on?

Jen had acted like nothing had happened and laid back down to sunbathe. Now Judy was the one who needed the cold water.

Minutes passed with Judy trying to figure out what Jen had meant, if Judy had read into it too much or if Jen meant what she was thinking.

Jen finally spoke, breaking the silence and pulling Judy from her analyzation.

"So earlier I said we should check out the night scene here," She began. "Is that something you would want to do?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go to a club. You do owe me."

Judy thought back to the grief retreat when Jen had suggested they hit up a gay club and instead of taking her up on the offer, she got nervous and instead turned Jen's attention to some of the activities at the hotel. Judy regretted it the minute she turned her down. She wasn't about to let that happen again. Plus, if she was trying to get Jen to admit her feelings, maybe this was the way to do it.

"Okay, let's do it."

"Really?" Jen asked, genuinely surprised that Judy had agreed.

Judy nodded and smiled, "Yeah, why not? Let's go dancing!"


	12. Chapter 12

Judy was sitting down at the desk in their room putting on the finishing touches of her makeup when she noticed Jen furiously rummaging through her suitcase.

Jen dipped her hand into the pocket of the jeans she had worn that day and, clearly having found what she was looking for, came up behind Judy.

"Here," Jen said, Judy watching in the mirror as Jen draped the cold metal of the necklace around the brunette's neck.

Judy reached up and touched the pendant that lay against her chest, her eyes meeting Jen's in the mirror.

"Jen…" Judy said softly. "You didn't have to get this for me."

Jen smiled at her and subconsciously ran her hands up and down Judy's arms. Judy's eyes fluttered closed at the contact.

"I wanted to."

Judy lazily opened her eyes to find Jen still intently watching her through the mirror.

"Thank you. I love it."

Jen nodded and slid her hands all the way down Judy's arms until she was able to lay them on top of the brunette's and intertwine their fingers. Jen bent forward and brought her face beside Judy's.

"Let's have a little bit of fun tonight!"

A shiver ran down Judy's spine at Jen's words and the blonde's hot breath against her ear.

"Oh, were you not having fun today?" Judy teased.

Jen rolled her eyes, "Come on, let's have some _more _fun."

As they approached their chosen club, they could already hear the music pumping through the walls. Jen gave Judy an excited smile, one that was not necessarily returned. Judy was nervous for some reason, but she also couldn't help remembering the way Jen danced on the guy at the grief retreat and hoped the blonde would dance on her like that tonight, which gave her a little burst of excitement.

As soon as they walked through the doors, Jen clutched Judy's hand and led them to the bar. She put on her biggest flirty face and quickly grabbed the attention of the bartender, ordering herself and Judy a drink.

They hung out by the bar for a few minutes, surveying the scene around them and waiting for the alcohol to kick in enough to give them the courage to start dancing.

Eventually Judy turned to Jen and grabbed her hands, walking backwards, leading Jen to the dancefloor.

"Well, we didn't come here to stand around and watch!" Judy shouted at Jen's shocked expression at the brunette having taken control.

"Judy Hale! What has gotten into you!"

Judy rolled her eyes and smiled wider, "Alcohol, remember!"

Jen would be lying if she said she wasn't thoroughly turned on by Judy's sudden bout of courage and the way her hips began to move the second they were out on the floor.

It took Jen a moment to register what was happening before she got behind Judy and put her hands on the brunette's hips, moving against her.

Judy reached back and put one hand on Jen's neck, holding her in place.

The whole time they danced like that, Jen kept thinking how wrong it was, but how right it felt. She liked Judy being pressed against her front and the feel of her hands on the brunette's hips. They shouldn't be dancing like this together, but neither one made a move to stop. In fact, Judy turned to face Jen, grabbing the blonde's hands from her hips and moving them to her lower back. Judy draped her arms lazily over Jen's shoulders and pressed herself as much against Jen as she could, continuously moving her hips and slightly grinding against Jen.

"Judy?"

"Mm?"

"People are watching."

"Good, let them. Let yourself enjoy this, Jen."

And she did. They both did. For a while too.

They danced together, gradually getting friskier as the songs merged into each other, until they were too hot and out of breath to keep going. Silently agreeing that they needed a break, they drifted back to the safety of the barside.

Judy noticed Jen avoiding her gaze, silently sipping her drink. Judy tried to step closer to Jen, but the blonde only created more distance between them, stepping away as discreetly as she possibly could.

'Here we go,' Judy thought to herself. 'Back to embarrassed and closed-off Jen.'

Judy let her eyes wander around at the different people that occupied the club. She smiled to herself at all the happiness that filled the building.

As she gazed about, her eyes landed on a man that was smiling directly at her from across the bar. Judy blushed and looked down at her drink. But when she looked up she saw him coming towards her.

"Hi," He yelled over the music, giving Judy a wide smile.

"Hi," Judy yelled back, noticing Jen watching the interaction from the corner of her eye.

"Would you maybe want to…" He nodded his head in the direction of the dancefloor.

Judy glanced sideways at Jen, who looked between the man and Judy. Jen took a moment to examine the stranger, seeming to determine whether or not she could trust him to take Judy away for a few moments.

"You kids, go have fun!"

Part of Judy was disappointed that Jen had approved of this man wanting to dance with her. She was hoping Jen would say no and they could go back to dancing together. But she also thought maybe, just maybe, she could make Jen want her back if she saw the two of them together.

The man took Judy's hand, which sent a wave of anger through Jen that she tried to breathe through, and led her into the crowd of people.

Jen watched the pair the whole way, focusing on their interactions and Judy's facial expressions, gauging whether or not she was into him. She watched the way Judy danced with him. Not quite on him, but also close enough for them to touch a little bit. She watched the way Judy smiled shyly at her new dancing partner and the way she laughed when he apparently said something funny.

Jen's blood began to boil slightly, but she shook it off, pretending she was happy for Judy.

But then several other people joined the pair, each of them, men and women, with their eyes on Judy and taking turns dancing with her individually.

Jen could feel herself becoming angry at Judy dancing with other people. She tried to ignore the feeling, again, but it eventually overtook her. So she downed a shot, for good measure, and made her way onto the dancefloor, making a beeline for the brunette.

Jen didn't waste any time in being polite as she pushed her way through the group until she was face-to-face with Judy, grabbing roughly at the brunette's hips.

Judy's smile faded when she saw the look on Jen's face.

"Hey!" Judy shouted.

Jen didn't answer, but instead pulled Judy even closer to her. Judy put her hands on Jen's chest and pushed back.

"Jen!"

"What were you doing with them?" Jen shouted and glared at the group that had migrated just slightly away from the pair and were now giving Jen weird looks.

"I was just dancing, Jen! I was having fun!" Judy was becoming angry at Jen's reaction. The people she had been dancing with were just random strangers who _actually _wanted to dance with her and weren't embarrassed.

"Well I didn't like the way they were ganging up on you!"

Judy pulled out of Jen's grasped and backed away.

"They weren't ganging up on me, Jen! We were having a good time!"

Jen stared back at Judy, "They didn't seem like good people!"

Judy was losing it. All of the built up anger from trying to hold back her feelings for Jen and trying to convince herself that she didn't need them to be reciprocated was making her burst at the seams. And now it was too much.

"You don't have a right to be possessive of me when you're too afraid to commit or even SAY that you love me, Jen!"

Jen set her jaw and narrowed her eyes, staring straight into the brown eyes in front of her.

"Fuck you Judy, you know it's hard to admit your feelings to someone who ripped your life apart," Jen spat.

This is not what Judy had wanted to come out of this trip, not even close. She didn't want to go down this road again. They had already been through the part of yelling at each other, or rather, Jen yelling at her.

"Well then," Judy whispered, trying to contain the tears that would spill any second. "Maybe I shouldn't have come back."

Jen felt a pang in her heart at hearing those words, especially because she knew what Judy had been planning to do the night she had called her to come home. But she was angry and couldn't stop herself from saying what she did.

"Maybe you shouldn't have."

They stared at each other for a moment, the happy noises of the club surrounding them, until Jen turned and stormed out the door, not daring to look back and see Judy's sad puppy face. Judy tried to follow her, but the crowd on the floor engulfed her and she was unable to get out.

When Judy finally returned to the room, face tearstained and head pounding, she found Jen in bed, her own face red and puffy. Judy couldn't tell if Jen was actually asleep or if she was just pretending to be in order to avoid talking to Judy.

The room was dark except for one little lamp that sat on the desk by the door. Judy smiled weakly at the thought that despite Jen being angry, she didn't want Judy to return to a pitch black room.

Judy moved noiselessly through the room, putting very little effort into her nightly routine before climbing into bed.

Jen was all the way on the far side, as far away from Judy as she could get.

Judy wanted so badly to get close to Jen, to wrap her arms around her and make this all go away. She wanted to finally make this all end. She wanted Jen to love her again, like before. Before confessions came out.

But she didn't get closer and she couldn't make things better.

So she turned on her side, facing away from Jen, and drifted off to the gentle shakes of her sleeping partner, who was apparently not asleep, and the soft sound of her own tears hitting the pillow.


	13. Chapter 13

Something woke Judy up just as the sun was beginning to make its appearance. When she reached behind her she found the bed empty and the sheets cold. Quickly, she sat up, scanning the dimly lit room looking for the fiery blonde. She listened intently, telling herself that Jen was just using the restroom, but when she couldn't hear anything, she got up only to find it empty. Panic was beginning to set in. Did Jen leave? Was she really that angry that she would leave Judy behind?

Judy walked on shaky legs to the window, pulling the curtains back she ran her eyes to the far end of the parking lot, where, much to her relief, Jen's SUV still sat.

She did another quick sweep of the parking lot and noticed a figure in the distance sitting on the beach across the street. It was hard to tell who it was, but Judy didn't need to figure it out, she already knew.

Judy threw on a pair of jeans, shoes, and a sweatshirt that she soon realized was actually Jen's, and headed in the direction of the blonde. She wrapped her arms around herself as she approached, trying to contain the shakes from being cold, but also from being nervous.

Jen heard the shift in the sand and knew it was Judy before she even saw her. Her body tingled with the presence of the brunette.

Still slightly afraid of Jen and her anger, Judy decided it best to put just a bit of distance between them as she planted herself in the sand.

It was early, the two of them among the few out at this hour. The fog still hung low in the atmosphere and the tide was still high.

Neither spoke for a long time, just watching the waves roll in and out, Jen mindlessly picking up sand and letting it fall through her fingers.

"You know why I needed you to come back so quickly?"

Judy realized she had been falling asleep sitting up when she heard Jen's soft voice over the crashing water. She didn't answer though, waiting for Jen to continue.

"Because I realized that despite everything, I needed you," she paused, swallowing loud enough for Judy to hear. For the first time since sitting down, Judy noticed Jen was crying.

"I fucking _need_ you, Judy," Jen whispered over a sob that was threatening to escape.

And once that confession came out, it all spilled, Jen unable to hold back anymore.

"You were the first person to make me _feel_ again. You made me smile and laugh. You held me up when I needed someone most. Of course learning that you were...apart of Ted's...incident, killed me. But it was already too late. I had fallen too deep. Ted was a fucking asshole. We were never happy. But with you, I was always happy… I _am_ always happy."

Judy hadn't said anything or even moved in the slightest, letting Jen express how she felt while also taking it all in herself. She had started crying almost immediately and wanted nothing more than to touch Jen, to hold her, but also didn't want to break up the flow the blonde had fallen into.

"I fell for you Judy, so fast. And I was scared of it. I still am, as you know. But I have never loved anyone the way I love you. The night you confessed, I went inside and I sobbed. Not because of Ted, but because I thought I was losing you. And then I realized it. It was always you, Judy! And it is always going to be you. I tried to let you go, I REALLY fucking tried, and telling you I hated you was the biggest lie I have ever told. Because the truth is, I love you..." She turned to face Judy now, they're eyes locking immediately.

"I'm _in _love with you, Judy."

They stared at each other for a moment, Jen's chest heaving slightly and Judy forgetting to breath all together.

And then Jen was leaning forward, inching closer to Judy, letting their noses touch.

"I'm going to do something I have wanted to do since I met you, I'm going to kiss you now," Jen said softly.

"Please do."

Jen smiled slightly before moving her hands to wrap around Judy's waist and pull her closer, so close that the brunette was practically sitting in her lap.

Judy squeaked before Jen's lips fell on hers and captured the sound.

It was slow at first, Judy letting Jen take control and feel things out, but also in too much shock to do anything on her own. But when Jen snaked her legs over the top of Judy's folded ones, pulling her in even closer, she knew that this was really happening. Judy slid her hands up Jen's arms and shoulders until they found the smooth blonde locks and tangled her fingers in them.

"I love you," Jen whispered against Judy's lips.

And she said it over and over, in between peppering Judy's face with soft kisses.

Judy grabbed Jen's face with both her hands to stop her from moving and looked her deeply in the eyes, watching the emotions swirl within the blue orbs.

"I love you so much, Jen."

Jen leaned in and kissed her again, simply because she could and she liked the feel of Judy's lips against her own. She wrapped her arms completely around Judy's back and hid her face in the brunette's neck, inhaling the sweet scent that was so Judy.

"Hey…" Jen pulled away and examined Judy.

"Hm?"

"Are you wearing my sweatshirt?"

Judy blushed and looked at the article of clothing, pulling her hands away from Jen's body and folding her arms over her chest.

"Yes.."

Jen smiled and kissed her, untucking Judy's arms so she could take her hands.

"Keep it, it looks good on you."

Judy smiled and crinkled her nose, leaning into Jen's chest as the blonde wrapped her arms around her back and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry for what I said last night," Jen confessed.

Judy squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to think about the events that had taken place just hours before, the pain she had felt.

"It's okay," Judy responded, feeling a burn in her throat at those words. She could feel Jen shaking her head above her.

"No Jude, it is not okay. I shouldn't have said them. And I should have been honest with you a long time ago. We didn't need to go through the shit that I put us through."

Judy pulled away and removed Jen's arms from her back so she could hold her hands instead. Jen brought Judy's hand to her lips and kissed the scar that had formed from when Judy broke the wine glass and cut herself that first night she stayed at the Harding home.

Judy smiled, watching the tenderness that Jen was exuding and feeling her heart swell.

"We put each other through a lot of shit, Jen. It wasn't just you. But we can finally put that all in the past and move on."

Jen nodded and stood, pulling Judy to her feet in front of her. Judy looked questioningly up at the blonde, her head slightly tilted.

A grin formed on Jen's lips as she leaned down to plant a kiss on the pair just slightly below her.

Jen pulled away, leaving Judy in a daze, before gently tugging on her hand to pull her in the direction of the road.

"Where are we going," Judy asked.

Jen looked down and smiled again.

"We're going to start over."


End file.
